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Monday, June 11, 2007

I sat by the bar
drinking my 3rd glass of red wine
and then you walked into the joint.
My eyes locked on you and followed your walk to me
I was 80% over my intoxication margin
So my eyes followed you like a moving target.
The prey that would make my hot blood turn cold
When doors close and we make animals of the night
As my adrenalin rushed a sweat btwn my heated thighs.
You placed yourself on the bar stool and sized me up,
and ur greeting I replied with a muffled growl
cos my body ached for the unceremonial event the night held.
You took your time and ordered 3 shots of brandy
Then you put your perspiring left hand on my thigh as your right hand traced my face.
I was shaking, cursing and near desperation to ignore decency
And as a test you leaned in for a kiss to see and feel my face flushed with blood vessels.
I needed some contact and you played me sensually like a guitarist serenading a crowded room of ladies
wanting to be the strings and feel the macho of ur fingers
but you pulled away and stared at my tilted hanging face with closed eyes and parted lips
Ready to be drawn into a novel romance of passion.
I finally got myself out of my suspended stupidity when I heard 'we have to talk babe!'
Emm... he's neva said this before, but then again i've neva been tipsy so there is always a first-
I dreamy eyed a sentence and realized 'so sexy' is not the same as my thot to say 'so speak'
but heck who cares, not him cos he emptied his glass with one gulp
and then my state of high backed into a 25% zone cos this looks serious.
Sitting up straight and supporting my heavy head to look conscious and serious
I zeroed out the sound of pple around and the raunchy voice in my head to listen to him
and the words went on and on and on but his lips moving made me tingle and giggly in my head
but later I seemed to find the path to be sobered,
gradually I feel a quench to my fire and a squeeze on my heart.

My brain seems to be sending some codes, its like a translation
and I understand his body language, no eye contact and the flat tone in his voice
Oh men!!! This can not be happening to me, I'm surely on a 150 margin-certified DRUNK.
My heart is racing..... I'm shaking and there's a tide building in my eyes,
“JESUS!!!” I say, trying not to blink so my swelling eyes don't crack the dam
“Are you okay” he asks, “ yea, I usually shout Jesus when I’m excited that someone is trying to give me the boot and not having the courage to say it straight” I replied. He covers his face & smiles
now am fuming cos the jackass thinks I’m some form of joke.
“Hey! ... Hey!! Bartender, get me some Vodka. !!” that’s me leaning over the bar and yelling,
“Look Quasimodo, I'll love to sit and hear the drum roll, then the final words and the reverse speech of -it's not you, it’s me shit; but I gotta use the ladies pronto! Please try not to be here when I come back with my ruptured heart and sore eyes to drink myself to therapy, but if you do have more knives and the guts to stick it in my heart than my back, then baby by all means stick around.” With those words blazing off my lips I made a proud warriors match to the ladies.
(Believe me-I only stumbled 2ce and bumped into 5 people on my match)
Standing in front of the mirror I let my memory play the 3yr relationship
I struggled not to see the negative in the past years or the last 1hr 30mins,
Reapplying my eye shadow and lip-gloss before I re-enter the real world....it.....it trickled.
Seeing a tear roll-down my cheek and then touch my shoulder
made me look at my reflection again and I saw into my heart, it was shriveled n weak;
At that moment I felt I DIED.

I saw this and i loved it.

A lil' humor


Sometimes I need what only you can provide, Your absence.


· Anytime I feel like exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
· Eating plenty of onions and garlic might help you live longer- but you’ll probably die very lonely.
· Inside me lies a skinny woman crying to get out but I can usually shut her up with cookies.
· I am not the man I used to be, so why should I have to pay all his debts.


· It is an incentive to show up.
· It reduces stress.
· It leads to more honest communication; employees tell mgt what they really think and not what management wants to hear.
· It increases satisfaction because if you have a bad job – you don’t care.
· It eliminates holidays, because people would rather come to work.

I'm a bit bored in the office.

Friday, June 1, 2007


Some real sad news came to me last night. A girl who I attended secondary school with has been kissed by death. Today, the news about her death is worse than the mild news I got last night, it seems she died from wat many call a figment of the imagination, a disease that does not exist or made by man - yep, its AIDS!!!!!!!!!!

She got married at a young age and is the only child of her mom + she her self is a mom. We both finished school in in '96 and soon after got hitched to some big guy from the northern part of 9ja. We werent like two peas in a pod but we did know each oda some bit and she was a jolly girl. Saddly her marriage was no smooth ride cos we heard tales of her hubby's infidelity. It was so outta hand that he did it in their home and on their bed(How completely disrespectful,cruel and shameless could he av been). An old school mate told me d burial is tomorrow but wen i asked wat she died of and I got smacked with AIDS the cause of death, believe me wen i say I closed my eyes and imagined her pain. Her hubby died of AIDS a while back so its a sure deal wat fate befell her and it breaks my heart to think of the sad journey to her end. 1st being so cheated and heart broken. 2nd seeing her hubby die from aids. 3rd finding out she had it. 4th Watching herself go through the stages of d diseases. 5th Knowing her Kid will have no parents. Maybe even a couple more issues She only knew.
Why do we hurt ourselves. If he knew he wanted to cheat or had AIDS then why the %^@* did he pass it to her? No one says you really got to be married, i mean people will talk weda u marry or not. Who is going to console her mom/friends and importantly her kid? Why are people so calculatedly wicked? Heck, we r all going to the Maker someday but did she have to loose her life in a long and painfully excruciating disease? Was her evil getting married/trying to make her marriage work or sleeping with the man she vowed to love in the prescence of God? Does love in sickneess and health,for richer or poorer & till death do them part really av to be followed literally? Questions will continue to make my mind work overtime as my racing pulse fuels an anger for people (men & women) who are victims of lawless LOVE, but will it bring Sarah back? Unfortunately, it won't and all I can do is say a prayer and wish her safe passage to the other side.
For love gone wrong, for relationships with a violent,sad and unfair end and most especially you girl, even though death kissed u to sleep, I pray these angels wake u to the peace and joy of Eternal Life.(RIP)