Is it a culture ?

What say YOU!!

a) Child before marriage b) Pregnant before/during marriage c) Marriage and the n pregnancy.

I have been thinking of this for a while now ( especially wen I tried buying yam yesterday...lol i'll explain below) and I have come to the conclusion that somehow in our heads and our heart we have absorbed this as one of our culture and I find something wrong with it. My post won't be long but I would like to get ur take on the matter.
I have noticed that B is d fast growing trend among our people and I wonder if some people like me can survive if we refuse to follow the standard set by a number of couples and society?Thank God I ain't got dat pressure! I see C as my answer any day,any time cos being pregnant shouldn't be a pre-requisite for tying the knot. Some people say "What if you marry her and den u find out she can't take in? Den we wld av married a man into our family" or de say "She is delaying to giv us a child" and so feel justified to put pressure on d couple to do sth by either making sly remarks, suggesting a new woman to support the man since the MAN he married won't do something or make cruel jokes ( an example of one is {THIS IS A TRUE CONVERSATION}
Husband's Aunty- "Sarah how r u? How are ur parents? How is Bingo?"
Sarah - Aunty everyone is fine. But aunty why r u asking about Bingo?
Husband's Aunty - " Why won't I ask about Bingo, wen u av not given us a child to ask about den I av to ask about d one we can see"

My point is God is the giver of dese bundle of blessings and also people should plan for children. The cost of living is unbeliveable now adays see me, see trouble oh..... I wanted to cook dinner for me & Man utd so I decided i'll cook vegetable stew with smoked fish and boiled yam, as I got to d mallam dat sells yam and pointed at one tubar he said "N700, madam" I asked him to repeat and he actually did. I turned round without a word cursing him under my breath and walked to buy 4 miserable fingers of plantain for N200 and boiled it instead. Wen got home, I sat in d parlor and drifted into starting a family and d present cost of living. (Dis tin pain me cos na dis season yam de sweet well, well ).
Starting a family needs some planning which includes saving a considerable amount. My colleague said to register for ante-natal she paid N50,000=, this so called classes she doesn't attend cos of work and now she wanted to pay for delivery and all and d hospital said N150,000k. (which we have to also consider the hospital) I told my colleague "oh baby!!!! u no go consider to born for house?" . We all laffed but is it really funny?. How long does it take to plan a wedding, recover from d expense, get preggers, d expense of d event, go back to work, raise ur kid, run d home, av d next kid and continue the cycle again?
Why do we let society pressure us into things dat we aint ready for(financially)? When should couples have d "raising a family" talk? etc.

I would like ur views and ur selection (A, B, or C)?

Have a lovely week dears - mwah!!!!

Never Forget

Wellsbaba Put the music to my blog.

:1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
4. After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
John Legend - Ordinary people. I say dis cos heck sths could be ok and also it may not be.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? -
Timberland - D way I are. I can only be d way I are but people got a beta idea of who i is. (I don jam english..lol).

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL
Enrique Inglesias - Rythmn Divine. I like people who have a rythmn in dia life. Everyone has it.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Mary J Blige - Just fine. I feel fantastic cos d akpu a. k. a loi loi and white soup with goat meat and stock fish I just ate has guaged my belle. I can dance pass d 9ja gal wei enta guiness book..uuhh!!!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Aerosmith - I dont want to miss a thing. Its good sometimes to try things and not miss out on stuff. SOMETIMES OO!!!!!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
kolomental:faze Many know of dis serious case, cos i'm unpredictable.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Keyshia Cole - Heaven Sent. I saw dis song on nyemoni and my folks av dia moments of angelic status, I luv dem.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
U2 and Mary J Blige - One love. Sometimes I tink why d world can't see each oda as 1.

WHAT IS 2+2?
Kylie Minogue - 2 hearts. I am in a kylie phase and i aint sorry about it. She has dis upbeat/dance/pop type of songs. I like.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
P2 - No one. Love dem.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Chris Brown - With you. Its lovely to be with dis man.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Colbie Cailat- Bubbly. My life has been ..........I thank God for my life. Its been intresting and will continue dat way. Amen!!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Sandy Thom - I wish I was a punk rocker. lol!!! I really would have been wonderful in d entertainment world, cos I love music. I still get time to be a punk rocker.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Clay Aiken - the way you make me feel. He is d ONE person dat I av completely been myself with and I am blessed to av him.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Maxwell - Fortunate. LMAO!! de tink i'm a bit lunny but de still feel fortunate to av me. Hey, I got my mom's name so it gotta mean Love.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ?
Faith Hills - Breath I feel my wedding is like magic and d person I am with is makes me ............words can't explain.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Madonna - don't cry for me argentina. D words fit d day but here i'll refer to all present as argentina. hmm....

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Talking heads - once in a life time. I heard dis song wen I was younger and it makes u wanna try tins cos its once in a life time. (Warning - try only good tins o, abeg!!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Roxette - Vulnerable. Yep!! its hard to believe dat I am so soft. It upsets me to not be as tough as I want to but sometimes its a beautiful tin.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Seal - Amazing. My friends are a wide selection of different people and de r special in dia many ways.

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Take That - Never forget. Dis song is wat i feel about dis post cos it reminds me of my past, present and future + d end(funeral question). Its appropriate.


I tag onome parakeet adoolicious Sha Duchess

I hope you guys do a good job. I'm watching you. lol Av a nice weekend. Mwah!!!!

The Evil look

A friend sent this to me by mail and I tot i should share it with u all. My sis also put to bed 3 weeks ago and then my cousin and then my friend. All ladies had boys...so CONGRATS ladies and I pray u all remain blessed.

Hope u all are doing fine.....takia and be good.

I GO DO U STRONG THING.

Thanks everyone for your comments in my last post. Mwah!!!! mwah!!!!!

When some one shouts or says "I go do you strong thing!!!!!" wat does it really mean. Is it in terms of fighting, hurting or even going the extra length of traditional magic?
I wonder wen de say someone's downfall was due to some evil person attacking dem from d spirit world by d consultation and assistance of babalawo's aka juju man. Most of our Nigerian and african movies carry alot of stories where these occultic powers are used to obtain things that de desire either by killing someone, making someone run mad, controlling people etc.

I am not naive of these things happening due to movies and hear-say tales but the thing is I am not sure if I believe them. With the advent of christianity and the fight of good and evil, I wonder if its possible dat we let the devil have so much power to rule over us. Let me try explaining further - If a person believes in God and have faith d size of a mustard seed, how can dese evil tins triumph in our lives?
- Could such evil antics work becos d person de r trying to get is also a bad person?
- Can fear be d crack dat evil needs to succeed?
Questions in my head go on and on and on.

My people wat's ur take on witchcraft/babalawo/juju.

Have a lovely weekend.

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen! (ORIGINAL VERSION)

I heard this on d radio some years ago and it really moved me. And some weeks ago I heard it again and it really touched me and made me cry(No comment). I really tap into d dudes thinking all though I avn't been to New york..lol!! D point he makes are very true.

Hope u all like it. (Am I on a mushy wushy phase?)

I got dis from Tosyn bukunor http://speechgirlbucknor.blogspot.com

Friends!!!

Friends are secretly an extension of your family. Sometimes in d toughest, happiest, shallow and memorable times of our lives we find ourselves going thru emotions with dese people that av become a brother or sister to us. There are days you wanna kill each oda and other days u laff so hard till you cry but dats life with its usual ups & downs. I love the friends I av found in my life not just cos in one way or d other they av been dere for me but also de allowed me to carry dem wen de were happy or needed a hand to hold or a warm hug.

Quotes

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Thanks for being rare GEMS!! (Family, Manutd, Friends and Bloggers)

Tagging Continues

I was tagged by onomev and wellsbaba and Princessa


Rules:
1. Link the person/people who tagged you(check!)
2. Mention the rules in your blog(wat do we call dat check? think so)
3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs(hope dey'll qualify)
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links(i think)
5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs(ok!)


Here it goes my quirks

1. I day dream alot. Its not just in my head, i act it out. When I'm in my room - i just start wording or acting my day dream, even if i have only 3 mins b4 someone walks into d room. (I blame NEPA for dis)

2. I hate to see peoples places disorganised. But when you come to my place its like a tornado lives with me. In my mind I believe its not scattered cos i know EXACTLY where things are but to an outsider, it looks like a stopover for wrestling matches.

3. I really want to be a social butterfly but the tin i treasure the most is being by MYSELF. Nothing makes me secretly happy like just staying alone with my house,light, music and zero pple around.(I used to lock myself up in d room for hours and my broda will have to come check if i'm still alive....)

4. I can stay in my house for days and not switch on the T.V. Don't ask me why but I walk around the house, stand by the door and of course do day dream sessions but not switch on d T.V. My neibor is trying to change my ways.

5. I check out asses. Guy or gal it dont matter. I dont get it myself, i just have d very bad habit of looking and saying nice ass!!! Well sometimes I do look and say "God, I want dat!! or aint dat ass a sin, cos its too bigggg for 1 person to av?"

6. My imagination is frightening. Well i guess dats where my day dreams were born from. I could look at pple and imagine tins about dem. Some i tink wat if dia nose was like dat or de walking and dia dress slips off or sometimes i see a couple and tink of dem .....bla blaaa n oda silly tins, but d good side of my imagination is dat I tink up designs for clothes, beads and business(so it aint so bad, right?)


OK so i tag anibodudescorner; jaycee; bunmmy; 36inchesofbrownleg; kissesandroses; and fluffy

o K people start writing and lets get to know u beta. I'll like to congratulate my self on learning how to put up link to blogs, I thank my teachers Onome and Ibo dude (Yes, I know the whole world has been doing dat, but dis is my shinning moment..lol!!!!)

Sleep, a Dream + 4 naira!

MIA Nikkisab has re-surfaced. I apologise that I have not updated but I know if I tell you I had Bloggers Block, I know a lot of pple will understand. I bet we've had those moments where it looks like you are sitting in a chair and a laffing monkey runs ur way and climbs your body holding a band aid (a.k.a plaster) and opens your brain to plaster ur thinking/writing side of ur brain (left or right side u decide). LOL

Now for a while I have been having a tough time sleeping. Its not wedding jitters or worry about anything wedding related, my eyes just spring open and I cant go back to sleep till about 4'ish am. I used to wake up 1 am and den it gradually became 3.00 - 3.10 a.m and then i drift into sleep about 4'ish then, BAM!!!! 5.02 my first alarm wakes me up so i start getting ready for work (sob, sob). I figured it was coffee causing d break in my sleep transmission, so I did the switch-e-roo and went to tea, which would be d big turn around for me and get me into the good books with sleep. Here I am typing with SLEEP in my eyes cos my body system is semi conscious thru d night - let me explain - it feels like u r sleeping but den after a calculated interval, you stretch for ur fone cos u tink its morning and den u see 1.47am and den 3.10am den 4.57am and BAM!!!! alarm(I know dis time accurately cos it happened dis morning AGAIN!!!!!).

Today's semi-conscious sleep was different I tink i had a dream. I was trying to buy oranges from a guy and den wen i gave him money he said it wasn't complete, wen I asked how much d oranges were he said N31.00. I was like ok.....wat if I gave him N30.00 cos I avn't got N1.00 and he refused and tried to embarass me cos of it. So I told him I had N40.00 will he give me my N9.00 change and he was puffing and said yes!! so i gave him. Only for d guy to now give me N5.00 without my balance of N4.00 cos he didn't have ..........hey!!!!!! see me de tear krase for dream, na im i begin fight d guy for trying to embarass me for N1.00 and den cheat me out of N4.00 and it was in dat I woke up...phew!!. Wen I reached for my fone to see wat d time was aghhhhh! 4.57am.

Please any suggestion on how sleep and I can become friends again will be appreciated. Plus wat does dis silly dream mean? Or does it mean anytin? Ok ..... its time to face my draggy day with droopy eyes and a wish list for a decent nights sleep.

I tink its absurd!!!!

Thanks everyone for ur comments and well wishes, we really appreciate it.

I was chatting with a friend of mine d oda day and he congratulated me on d traditional wedding, wished me well but he asked an absurd question - "Has ur friend count gone down?" He said as I change my status to married, I would soon wave a lot of my old girlfriends and boyfriends goodbye cos gradually de would witdraw and make scanty appearances n brief fone calls. But I told him I wasn't dat way wen he tied d knot becos I av a general fone n visit problem but if its chatting - no one can say I aint No. 1 chat queen lol!!! He said I was one of d few who didn't change (knowing my communicado status). Well we yada yada yada and blah blah.

Ova d weekend I was with a friend and we were generally chatting and having breakfast wen I told her dat a married guy friend of mine told me to prepare for d EXIT of some of my friends. I told her d conversation and to my heartbreaking reality she told me she has and would be guilty of doing it. I asked why? And she said that dere is a class tin - I mean like clique when married friends become funny towards dia former single friends. I wont play dumb to it but dat is all dependent on a person and d attitude de had in d 1st place. I av married friends and we all still good, infact my bestfriend got married n we still remained dat way after her status changed till she passed on. She felt rooted to her statement and it got me thinking.

If ur friend was an ass in d first place den u expect an ass after he/she gets married. But its absolutely ABSURD dat its d norm. I am upset with dis cos it seems like its an automatically activated button after someone's box ticks married. I was upset and I still am, cos it looks like a fraud of a celebration wen u come shine teeth on dat day and disappear after dat. I don't belive dere is a clause in friendship that says disengage after rings are given? Hmm... I gotta say I'll respect anyones's wish to carry on d absurd tradition but I will be disappointed at those who do.

Sorry as i de bomb na vex de do me on d mata. Wedding plans are still on d way and God is in control.

He drank my wine!!

The day has come and pass and we have passed the 1st stage of marriage.
We thank God for everything becos the strength came from He who is the author of life. Saturday 22nd March 2008!!! Wow!! Its not a dream anymore its a reality and its my lovely reality.
My man utd was amazing thru the whole event and I am so happy dat he is d one I will walk this earth with. My previous family and my new family (chei! d life of a woman, see as dem de turn turn person and l8r i go still make my own. hmm.. well God de. LOL!!); they were wonderful too.

Yep!! thats me and then him drinking my palm wine. Now that this phase has passed we begin the next planning for white wedding and I have not found a gown but d hunt is on and just like dis fell into place so i trust d white will.
I thank everyone who showed up for d occassion, Zy thank u for making me look nice. Thank you everyone in my last post for ur well wishes and prayers.