Just My Thoughts

THE BEST CORNFLAKES IN THE WORLD!!!!

2009-07-22T16:35:00.002+01:00

I stand to be corrected guys but till then This I repeat is the BEST CORNFLAKES in d world!!!!

I wish I was OPRAH or ELLEN, I would av been glad to share a pack to all of you but I am only Nikkisab and pray dat 1 day u all will taste dis lovely, delicious, amazing and FANTASTIC cornflakes. Will be back soon to write a post. Takia.

N.B - De did not pay me for all dis advert o!! lol!!!

Vacation

2009-07-13T16:42:00.004+01:00

How was d weekend?

During my long haitus from Blogland, I did quite a number of things. Some was loads of fun, some got me thinking and d others.. well we will address as de come.

In jan/feb I went on a 2 week vacation to visit my sister in laws and did de spoil me or wat?!!! I had way too much fun dat I should be arrested, de were sweet, accomodating and just awesome. Well, there were 1 or 2 days dat just talking to my hubby wasn't enuf so I cried but basically we talked and tried to chat everyday. He is not one to travel and I am one to hop on a plane a jet off at any time just give me d cash or enuf leave days.

I thot i was gonna freeze out by goin early in d year but God luvs me and d weather was just smooth. Atlanta was ok but La had d best weather and though I wanted to try Baltimore and NYC my sis inlaw said it was damn cold, so i'll conquer it next time. In atlanta one of d nice places we went to was d aquarium, mennnn....... le'kwa ezigbo anu na fish (Look at d better meat and fish) I had drifted off to wishing i could turn d place to a point and kill joint, chei! just check out d killer business dat could come out of it..lol!!! I also discovered d best cornflakes in d world. I love it so much dat I am developing a strong following of all who have tasted it.

In LA i went to an amusement park and boy did i dare myself into going on some crazy rides. WOW!!! it was exhilirating, scary and fun!!!!! I was so happy to join d chorus of screaming riders dat it almost felt like therapy. AAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! not d same feeling but it was damn good den. In two rides i kept thinkin wat if I didn't strap in well so I would av done a yee-ha into d air and splattered - not a good tot or picture in my head but thank God nothing happened.

I have to thank my inlaws and dia family for being so FABULOUS, love ya. Oh did i mention d day of my departure dere was dis tall dark guy in a grey track suit (in d old days dats wat we called it, dont know if dere is a mordern name) well he had a pouch or sth on his wrist and his fone was strapped dere. It was funny n weird at d same time.

Ciao !!

HI!!!

2009-07-08T14:12:00.002+01:00

How are you,

Hope u all av been doing aiight!!!! Its been so long since I dropped by infact in some months it would have been 1 year since I wrote something.

Thanks everyone who checked on me and dropped comments. It was so sweet of u guys.

I may not write so often but I will try and try to drop a line or two.

So wat av I missed?

Something new!!

2008-11-14T11:04:00.004Z

Dis is my new haircut. A scraped 'Ogo' ...lol!!!! I don't know cos e get as e de do me now adays and i know no where d tin de pinch me again. Any ways na so i take b now and d tin de allow breeze well,well + i no de too stay under dryer again.

Mean a whiler we gets to relocate to our durmot as d place we de go soon expire n i no get time to yarn dust wit landlord so by month end we for don pack cham cham.

I don cure myself of all dem sites wei i de go read hot gossip wei no de concern me. Now e de hard me sef to look any site now....lol!!! Marriage na very intresting union everyday na learning process cos if u talk say nothing go surprise u, den dat na fa..fa..fa....FOUL!!!!! I thank God for everytin....Amen!

Abeg i de throway salute to all of una wei comment my last post but i thank webround well, well for dat expo scholarship.

my people today na monday, make i begin draw list organise my week n attend to matters arising. I love my pink shoes (na who ax me?...lol)

Addicted

2008-10-29T14:34:00.003Z

Lately, I have become a slave to celebrity blogs. I go through the day skipping from one celebrity blog after d oda and then wen i exhaust d one's i regularly visit, i start searching for new ones.

Most of my work is on d internet and thanks to Sat 3 the internet has been slow but d only tin dat opens better than my work links are facebook, yahoo, msn, blog and a couple others. I try to visit one or two of my fav blogs but den before i can drop a comment i rush off to Ybf, sandrarose, grapevyne, hot mess, dats not hot etc. I used to wonder how pple get hooked n addicted to celebrity links but i av become d biggest slave to d links.

On other notes, I would like to make a career switch to HR (Human Resources) but i hate school. So, how do i hope to achieve dis switch? I was hoping to do an online short programme( d key word is SHORT) like 3 months. I was also thinking dat maybe I just apply for any of d vaccancies i see and grow from dere (with my zero knowledge, i hope some employer will av faith in me...lol). Another thot is to attend one-two day trainings and hope it would count for sth on my CV(hmmm....). I wanted to do d 9jn CIPM (Chartered Institute of Personnel Mgt) but did i mention i HATE school or anything where it looks like i av travelled back in time to my early days wen i wld cry to be in a classroom.

I tink i'm a bored with my job, cos its d longest i av been in one place Aug 2006 - till date. Damn!!! I'm usually a 9 months- 12 months person, i guess its age and all d qualities dat come with it. (Not bad). Ok peeps, i would like any offer on short programs I can start in my career growth. Oh, did i mention it shouldn't be too costly ( I am Ibo....lol). Any advice is most welcome too.

Takia mwah!!!

Praise God!

2008-10-20T07:44:00.006+01:00

Compliments of d day people!!!!

Today is special for 2 reasons.

One is my lovely sister in law whose birthday is today, She is a fab person n very hard working. I wish her a fantastic day and I hope she party's like a rockstar!!!!!!She has a lovely personality and I am so blessed to heave her (and her 2 sisters) as family members. Love u loads.

D second special reason is dat I am celebrating the life of Busola who was a daugther, a lovely friend & sister, a wife and mother of my godson T-bobo. She was one fun, crazy and adorable lady dat I was blessed to b a friend and sister to in 1993. We laffed, gossiped and cried together many times and we had plans to be and do many many things together. Sadly she and d baby in her womb passed away last year on the 20th of October 2007 @ about 2pm. I wrote about dis beauty last year THERE = ( Homecalling) and then I admit dat I was angry at her n slightly upset with God because I was sad n heartbroken to loose my gal especially wen dere were somethings dat needed to be sorted out. She was goin to call me d saturday she passed on and I waited for d call only to hear she crossed ova dat afternoon. I must confess sometimes I dont blive she's gone so I sit n stare till tears roll down my cheeks. I try to avoid her parents cos wen I look @ dem I see her n it breaks me cos we all start a choir of crying and I cant imagine how hard it was for dem to loose dia 1st child and only daugther.

Busola(in d brown top) and I (Sept 2007)

I had a dream once dat I saw her. The excitement I felt in my dream was so real dat wen I woke up I felt happy, She was just smiling and i was hoping like a kid high on sugar. I kept askin if she was d one n she smiled, i hugged and told her how much I had missed her and she said d same den I told her to follow me but she declined and said she had to go and I understood den woke up but I was sooooo glad to av seen her (pple say she must av really liked me not to av axd me to follow her, cos if I had gone den I too would av crossed ova. It may or may not b true) On my wedding day wen I saw her folks I remembered our promise to b each oda's chief Brides maid and to think of not havin her dere to do her gra gra as usual made me cry. My godson is doing well, he and his dad are stuck to each oda like glue and I try to call dem as often as I can. Sometimes I tink I am not a good godmother bcos d last time I saw him was exactly a month before his mom died. Office and financial issues have held me from makin d trip but I will try b4 d year runs out to go visit but I wonder wat i would get him wen I go dere.

I celebrate d lives of two magnificent women and I praise God!!!!! Viv u r a wonderful person so enjoy urself and av a splendid Birthday.
Busola u r an Angel and I celebrate ur life and thank God for letting us share our lives with u, we love u, I love u and I apologise for being angry wit u and God. HE has his reason for calling u n baby home. Miss u and love u dear. Rest in Peace!!!!

Something ?

2008-10-06T09:30:00.002+01:00

Thanks for all ur comments and well wishes in my last blog. May God bless you all.

I just spoke to my mom dis morning and wen i dropped i realised sth dat has been re-occurring for some months now. I av realised dat it seems i av gone emotionally dull or gradually going emotionally numb!!!! I talk to her or my dad and mayb my sisters and a few friends like with no expression of emotion ( eg a smile,laff, anger or anytin) I'm flat, almost bored, almost distracted, almost robot.

Its like i av lost alot of my spark n humor. Wit my hubby everytin is intact but den i sort of partially shut down with most people (family, friends and clients). Dis worries me a GREAT deal. I feel dettached and its not me......I dont like wat's happening especially since i noticed it a while back and kept believing it would pass n its still here.

Dese r people I love and care about and de av axd me wats up but I say its either I just woke up from sleep or I just had an annoying customer or i was in d kitchen or i was outside or i just watch d fone ring as de call 1,2,3,4 times just so de can't tell i've signed out wen de r talking. Dere r very very few times i snap back to my normal self wen I talk to dem but, each time i'm emotionless i try to stop myself but i can't.

I hope dis bad phase passes by but den again how much longer will it take for it to stop. I really miss d OLD me.

Let me Introduce myself

2008-09-22T07:20:00.017+01:00

Hello Blog Family,

I would like to introduce me again to you. I am Mrs U aka Mrs Ibo dude aka Mrs Manutd aka Mrs Nikkisab (how many I go answer) lol.

..heheheh Yes O, Thank God for me and my hubby for d wonderful day. I thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. D complete pix r not ready but I do hope with d way d pix are below it tells u all d story of our wedding on the 6th of Sept 2008.

Our wedding link is www.momentville.com/nkechiandobi I hope to upload d weddin pix dere l8r

I av become pro on d wedding matter dat I bet I can be called a wedding planner. D best tin is I didnt cry while saying my vows i was relaxed (I only cried wen I saw my gals parents and I wished she was here wit me). I will do my best to write d whole tin but d tori lonnnnnnnng o, but mark it dat I danced to d point my mom was speechless. heheheh!!!

Thanks Bloggers - adoo, bunmy, Owhornda, Princessa and Onome for coming....much appreciate u dear..mwah.

Takia lovelys will try to blog soon, but I gotta admit I am blocked on blogging but I will try.

Honeymoon here I come!!

2008-09-02T06:06:00.014+01:00

Ok my people!!!.

My birthday was Aug 29th So happy Baffday to me. I had a lovely day, had cake in the office, went home and had chinese with the gals at home (My mom, Lor and Zy) Ema was on her way to lag so she had hers later. My man came in at 7.30 - 8.00 pm and then we took off to pik Ema at d airport and then hang out. So we hung out and den Ema came to meet us dere (she was in a cab wen my txt came in saying 'let us know wen u land') So we all hung out at "The Place" in GRA Ikeja before we did my favorite bit of d evening- CLUBBING!!!!!!!!!!! So my pple please share the cake above.

So I got like 3 days before I say "I DO!!" wow...me?

Oh yels, I av sent d Dj d songs I want played (he better not mess things up cos I wanna dance and dance) I enjoy dancing but not wen d focus is me, i'll try not to be shy. My gown is at d drycleaners and I pik it up thursday. My sandals are coming in wednesday and I get to see it thursday. I make my hair thursday morning ( I decided to make pick and drop colors will be black/a tint of gold) I beliv it'll come out nice. Friday I see d fotographer, go to d venue,see d small chops guy, my bouqet and oda miscellenous. Oh! I got to pik up d thanksgiving outfit today and its a style dat is louder dan usual but everyone said I should break from my norm of OLD BRITISH WOMAN dressing....lol.

I'll post d little i rmbr and I hope u all dont mind. Please pray for us as we enter this next phase of our lives. Also please join me to pray for all families, friends and well-wishers that travel to come celebrate our day with us. Also, I thank EVERYONE who has been very supportive during the wedding.

I hope I am not asking for a lot but pls chip it in wen u pray.

So take care of ur lovely selves and I'll see you in a weeks time.

my band my sandal my hair piece

My gown

Almost Here!!!

2008-08-25T06:26:00.002+01:00

Hi peeps wats up?

Been busy with work, wedding and falling ill...lol !!! So according to my timer on the right I've got 12 days to go before I say cherio cherio maiden name and WELCOME to a surname upgrade. I am trying to find the humor in dis all cos I dont wanna panic. I wonder sometimes why do men ati women panic?
Its not like we didn't daydream or know such a day MIGHT be our turn, so why do we av pulse racing, heart stopping, tear pouring moments? With dat said I still suffer all d symptoms I've mentioned and I bet it will reduce as d day draws closer. Sadly all d running around has got me loosing weight (Like I had any b4...lol), looking tired in all d pictures I am caught in and having a mild pimple break out agghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now to be honest, all I am loking forward to is d honeymoon wen I can truely and gladly say its over and put my feet up to rest before I come back to start d next phase as Mrs U.

Ok enuf nagging!!!! Quite a number of wonderful things have been happening to me of late (not to say d gift of life aint wonderful enuf) but God has taken d gr8 pleasure of embarrasing me with blessings and more blessings and I keep wondering if I really deserve these things. Like having Manutd, Lovely family members (Mine and his av been so supportive and caring with d wedding), my office windfall etc - I am so thankful to God for my life and I will do my best to spread the mercy, kindness, joy and gifts HE has given me with others.

So I am gonna move around and check out wat i've missed. I wanted to put up wat d gown, sandal and hair looks like but I bet u guys wont mind if I dont ba. How about i put d ensemble after d wedding....Thanks I knew u'ld understand. Have a blessed and Wonderful week.

Information

2008-08-04T10:47:00.006+01:00

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the silence but work et al been occupying me.

Takia!!!

Is it a culture ?

2008-07-22T07:27:00.007+01:00

What say YOU!!

a) Child before marriage b) Pregnant before/during marriage c) Marriage and the n pregnancy.

I have been thinking of this for a while now ( especially wen I tried buying yam yesterday...lol i'll explain below) and I have come to the conclusion that somehow in our heads and our heart we have absorbed this as one of our culture and I find something wrong with it. My post won't be long but I would like to get ur take on the matter.
I have noticed that B is d fast growing trend among our people and I wonder if some people like me can survive if we refuse to follow the standard set by a number of couples and society?Thank God I ain't got dat pressure! I see C as my answer any day,any time cos being pregnant shouldn't be a pre-requisite for tying the knot. Some people say "What if you marry her and den u find out she can't take in? Den we wld av married a man into our family" or de say "She is delaying to giv us a child" and so feel justified to put pressure on d couple to do sth by either making sly remarks, suggesting a new woman to support the man since the MAN he married won't do something or make cruel jokes ( an example of one is {THIS IS A TRUE CONVERSATION}
Husband's Aunty- "Sarah how r u? How are ur parents? How is Bingo?"
Sarah - Aunty everyone is fine. But aunty why r u asking about Bingo?
Husband's Aunty - " Why won't I ask about Bingo, wen u av not given us a child to ask about den I av to ask about d one we can see"

My point is God is the giver of dese bundle of blessings and also people should plan for children. The cost of living is unbeliveable now adays see me, see trouble oh..... I wanted to cook dinner for me & Man utd so I decided i'll cook vegetable stew with smoked fish and boiled yam, as I got to d mallam dat sells yam and pointed at one tubar he said "N700, madam" I asked him to repeat and he actually did. I turned round without a word cursing him under my breath and walked to buy 4 miserable fingers of plantain for N200 and boiled it instead. Wen got home, I sat in d parlor and drifted into starting a family and d present cost of living. (Dis tin pain me cos na dis season yam de sweet well, well ).
Starting a family needs some planning which includes saving a considerable amount. My colleague said to register for ante-natal she paid N50,000=, this so called classes she doesn't attend cos of work and now she wanted to pay for delivery and all and d hospital said N150,000k. (which we have to also consider the hospital) I told my colleague "oh baby!!!! u no go consider to born for house?" . We all laffed but is it really funny?. How long does it take to plan a wedding, recover from d expense, get preggers, d expense of d event, go back to work, raise ur kid, run d home, av d next kid and continue the cycle again?
Why do we let society pressure us into things dat we aint ready for(financially)? When should couples have d "raising a family" talk? etc.

I would like ur views and ur selection (A, B, or C)?

Have a lovely week dears - mwah!!!!

Never Forget

2008-07-10T13:49:00.006+01:00

Wellsbaba Put the music to my blog.

:1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
4. After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
John Legend - Ordinary people. I say dis cos heck sths could be ok and also it may not be.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? -
Timberland - D way I are. I can only be d way I are but people got a beta idea of who i is. (I don jam english..lol).

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL
Enrique Inglesias - Rythmn Divine. I like people who have a rythmn in dia life. Everyone has it.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Mary J Blige - Just fine. I feel fantastic cos d akpu a. k. a loi loi and white soup with goat meat and stock fish I just ate has guaged my belle. I can dance pass d 9ja gal wei enta guiness book..uuhh!!!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Aerosmith - I dont want to miss a thing. Its good sometimes to try things and not miss out on stuff. SOMETIMES OO!!!!!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
kolomental:faze Many know of dis serious case, cos i'm unpredictable.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Keyshia Cole - Heaven Sent. I saw dis song on nyemoni and my folks av dia moments of angelic status, I luv dem.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
U2 and Mary J Blige - One love. Sometimes I tink why d world can't see each oda as 1.

WHAT IS 2+2?
Kylie Minogue - 2 hearts. I am in a kylie phase and i aint sorry about it. She has dis upbeat/dance/pop type of songs. I like.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
P2 - No one. Love dem.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Chris Brown - With you. Its lovely to be with dis man.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Colbie Cailat- Bubbly. My life has been ..........I thank God for my life. Its been intresting and will continue dat way. Amen!!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Sandy Thom - I wish I was a punk rocker. lol!!! I really would have been wonderful in d entertainment world, cos I love music. I still get time to be a punk rocker.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Clay Aiken - the way you make me feel. He is d ONE person dat I av completely been myself with and I am blessed to av him.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Maxwell - Fortunate. LMAO!! de tink i'm a bit lunny but de still feel fortunate to av me. Hey, I got my mom's name so it gotta mean Love.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ?
Faith Hills - Breath I feel my wedding is like magic and d person I am with is makes me ............words can't explain.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Madonna - don't cry for me argentina. D words fit d day but here i'll refer to all present as argentina. hmm....

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Talking heads - once in a life time. I heard dis song wen I was younger and it makes u wanna try tins cos its once in a life time. (Warning - try only good tins o, abeg!!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Roxette - Vulnerable. Yep!! its hard to believe dat I am so soft. It upsets me to not be as tough as I want to but sometimes its a beautiful tin.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Seal - Amazing. My friends are a wide selection of different people and de r special in dia many ways.

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Take That - Never forget. Dis song is wat i feel about dis post cos it reminds me of my past, present and future + d end(funeral question). Its appropriate.

I tag onome parakeet adoolicious Sha Duchess

I hope you guys do a good job. I'm watching you. lol Av a nice weekend. Mwah!!!!

The Evil look

2008-07-02T08:28:00.004+01:00

A friend sent this to me by mail and I tot i should share it with u all. My sis also put to bed 3 weeks ago and then my cousin and then my friend. All ladies had boys...so CONGRATS ladies and I pray u all remain blessed.

Hope u all are doing fine.....takia and be good.

I GO DO U STRONG THING.

2008-06-13T16:04:00.002+01:00

Thanks everyone for your comments in my last post. Mwah!!!! mwah!!!!!

When some one shouts or says "I go do you strong thing!!!!!" wat does it really mean. Is it in terms of fighting, hurting or even going the extra length of traditional magic?
I wonder wen de say someone's downfall was due to some evil person attacking dem from d spirit world by d consultation and assistance of babalawo's aka juju man. Most of our Nigerian and african movies carry alot of stories where these occultic powers are used to obtain things that de desire either by killing someone, making someone run mad, controlling people etc.

I am not naive of these things happening due to movies and hear-say tales but the thing is I am not sure if I believe them. With the advent of christianity and the fight of good and evil, I wonder if its possible dat we let the devil have so much power to rule over us. Let me try explaining further - If a person believes in God and have faith d size of a mustard seed, how can dese evil tins triumph in our lives?
- Could such evil antics work becos d person de r trying to get is also a bad person?
- Can fear be d crack dat evil needs to succeed?
Questions in my head go on and on and on.

My people wat's ur take on witchcraft/babalawo/juju.

Have a lovely weekend.

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen! (ORIGINAL VERSION)

2008-05-27T08:58:00.001+01:00

I heard this on d radio some years ago and it really moved me. And some weeks ago I heard it again and it really touched me and made me cry(No comment). I really tap into d dudes thinking all though I avn't been to New york..lol!! D point he makes are very true.

Hope u all like it. (Am I on a mushy wushy phase?)

I got dis from Tosyn bukunor http://speechgirlbucknor.blogspot.com

Friends!!!

2008-05-21T07:58:00.006+01:00

Friends are secretly an extension of your family. Sometimes in d toughest, happiest, shallow and memorable times of our lives we find ourselves going thru emotions with dese people that av become a brother or sister to us. There are days you wanna kill each oda and other days u laff so hard till you cry but dats life with its usual ups & downs. I love the friends I av found in my life not just cos in one way or d other they av been dere for me but also de allowed me to carry dem wen de were happy or needed a hand to hold or a warm hug.

Quotes

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Thanks for being rare GEMS!! (Family, Manutd, Friends and Bloggers)

Tagging Continues

2008-05-12T06:30:00.006+01:00

I was tagged by onomev and wellsbaba and Princessa

Rules:
1. Link the person/people who tagged you(check!)
2. Mention the rules in your blog(wat do we call dat check? think so)
3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs(hope dey'll qualify)
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links(i think)
5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs(ok!)

Here it goes my quirks

1. I day dream alot. Its not just in my head, i act it out. When I'm in my room - i just start wording or acting my day dream, even if i have only 3 mins b4 someone walks into d room. (I blame NEPA for dis)

2. I hate to see peoples places disorganised. But when you come to my place its like a tornado lives with me. In my mind I believe its not scattered cos i know EXACTLY where things are but to an outsider, it looks like a stopover for wrestling matches.

3. I really want to be a social butterfly but the tin i treasure the most is being by MYSELF. Nothing makes me secretly happy like just staying alone with my house,light, music and zero pple around.(I used to lock myself up in d room for hours and my broda will have to come check if i'm still alive....)

4. I can stay in my house for days and not switch on the T.V. Don't ask me why but I walk around the house, stand by the door and of course do day dream sessions but not switch on d T.V. My neibor is trying to change my ways.

5. I check out asses. Guy or gal it dont matter. I dont get it myself, i just have d very bad habit of looking and saying nice ass!!! Well sometimes I do look and say "God, I want dat!! or aint dat ass a sin, cos its too bigggg for 1 person to av?"

6. My imagination is frightening. Well i guess dats where my day dreams were born from. I could look at pple and imagine tins about dem. Some i tink wat if dia nose was like dat or de walking and dia dress slips off or sometimes i see a couple and tink of dem .....bla blaaa n oda silly tins, but d good side of my imagination is dat I tink up designs for clothes, beads and business(so it aint so bad, right?)

OK so i tag anibodudescorner; jaycee; bunmmy; 36inchesofbrownleg; kissesandroses; and fluffy

o K people start writing and lets get to know u beta. I'll like to congratulate my self on learning how to put up link to blogs, I thank my teachers Onome and Ibo dude (Yes, I know the whole world has been doing dat, but dis is my shinning moment..lol!!!!)

Sleep, a Dream + 4 naira!

2008-04-29T06:20:00.007+01:00

MIA Nikkisab has re-surfaced. I apologise that I have not updated but I know if I tell you I had Bloggers Block, I know a lot of pple will understand. I bet we've had those moments where it looks like you are sitting in a chair and a laffing monkey runs ur way and climbs your body holding a band aid (a.k.a plaster) and opens your brain to plaster ur thinking/writing side of ur brain (left or right side u decide). LOL

Now for a while I have been having a tough time sleeping. Its not wedding jitters or worry about anything wedding related, my eyes just spring open and I cant go back to sleep till about 4'ish am. I used to wake up 1 am and den it gradually became 3.00 - 3.10 a.m and then i drift into sleep about 4'ish then, BAM!!!! 5.02 my first alarm wakes me up so i start getting ready for work (sob, sob). I figured it was coffee causing d break in my sleep transmission, so I did the switch-e-roo and went to tea, which would be d big turn around for me and get me into the good books with sleep. Here I am typing with SLEEP in my eyes cos my body system is semi conscious thru d night - let me explain - it feels like u r sleeping but den after a calculated interval, you stretch for ur fone cos u tink its morning and den u see 1.47am and den 3.10am den 4.57am and BAM!!!! alarm(I know dis time accurately cos it happened dis morning AGAIN!!!!!).

Today's semi-conscious sleep was different I tink i had a dream. I was trying to buy oranges from a guy and den wen i gave him money he said it wasn't complete, wen I asked how much d oranges were he said N31.00. I was like ok.....wat if I gave him N30.00 cos I avn't got N1.00 and he refused and tried to embarass me cos of it. So I told him I had N40.00 will he give me my N9.00 change and he was puffing and said yes!! so i gave him. Only for d guy to now give me N5.00 without my balance of N4.00 cos he didn't have ..........hey!!!!!! see me de tear krase for dream, na im i begin fight d guy for trying to embarass me for N1.00 and den cheat me out of N4.00 and it was in dat I woke up...phew!!. Wen I reached for my fone to see wat d time was aghhhhh! 4.57am.

Please any suggestion on how sleep and I can become friends again will be appreciated. Plus wat does dis silly dream mean? Or does it mean anytin? Ok ..... its time to face my draggy day with droopy eyes and a wish list for a decent nights sleep.

I tink its absurd!!!!

2008-04-07T06:31:00.002+01:00

Thanks everyone for ur comments and well wishes, we really appreciate it.

I was chatting with a friend of mine d oda day and he congratulated me on d traditional wedding, wished me well but he asked an absurd question - "Has ur friend count gone down?" He said as I change my status to married, I would soon wave a lot of my old girlfriends and boyfriends goodbye cos gradually de would witdraw and make scanty appearances n brief fone calls. But I told him I wasn't dat way wen he tied d knot becos I av a general fone n visit problem but if its chatting - no one can say I aint No. 1 chat queen lol!!! He said I was one of d few who didn't change (knowing my communicado status). Well we yada yada yada and blah blah.

Ova d weekend I was with a friend and we were generally chatting and having breakfast wen I told her dat a married guy friend of mine told me to prepare for d EXIT of some of my friends. I told her d conversation and to my heartbreaking reality she told me she has and would be guilty of doing it. I asked why? And she said that dere is a class tin - I mean like clique when married friends become funny towards dia former single friends. I wont play dumb to it but dat is all dependent on a person and d attitude de had in d 1st place. I av married friends and we all still good, infact my bestfriend got married n we still remained dat way after her status changed till she passed on. She felt rooted to her statement and it got me thinking.

If ur friend was an ass in d first place den u expect an ass after he/she gets married. But its absolutely ABSURD dat its d norm. I am upset with dis cos it seems like its an automatically activated button after someone's box ticks married. I was upset and I still am, cos it looks like a fraud of a celebration wen u come shine teeth on dat day and disappear after dat. I don't belive dere is a clause in friendship that says disengage after rings are given? Hmm... I gotta say I'll respect anyones's wish to carry on d absurd tradition but I will be disappointed at those who do.

Sorry as i de bomb na vex de do me on d mata. Wedding plans are still on d way and God is in control.

He drank my wine!!

2008-03-28T05:21:00.009Z

The day has come and pass and we have passed the 1st stage of marriage.
We thank God for everything becos the strength came from He who is the author of life. Saturday 22nd March 2008!!! Wow!! Its not a dream anymore its a reality and its my lovely reality.
My man utd was amazing thru the whole event and I am so happy dat he is d one I will walk this earth with. My previous family and my new family (chei! d life of a woman, see as dem de turn turn person and l8r i go still make my own. hmm.. well God de. LOL!!); they were wonderful too.

Yep!! thats me and then him drinking my palm wine. Now that this phase has passed we begin the next planning for white wedding and I have not found a gown but d hunt is on and just like dis fell into place so i trust d white will.
I thank everyone who showed up for d occassion, Zy thank u for making me look nice. Thank you everyone in my last post for ur well wishes and prayers.

On her majesty's secret service!

2008-03-14T05:33:00.005Z

Hi guys, things have been actually normal and not as crazy and scattered as I had a picture in my head...hmm...must be a good sign. Well dis is a quick summary of tins so far and I hope it makes sense cos work is killing me.

Dats wat it looked like in d shop. And now dis is wat it looks like on me.

Trad is easter weekend (saturday to be precise). Please before u guys make me walk d plank, is gonna be a small gathering of families. The white wedding is later in d year and wen d website goes up we will inform everyone, so ma binu ore mi's. I really hope public holiday is on thur so i can leave early enough to the village and be my parents big baby for d last time as a spinster and then wen next time de see me, I will STILL be dia baby but married lol!!! My clothes aint back from d tailor ahhhhh!!!!!!! but I must be calm, i know i 'll get it before tuesday next week.

We do need ur prayers everyone as we travel back and forth, so please if u can put us as N.B wen u pray. heheheh!!!

JUST BREATH!!

2008-03-06T10:10:00.003Z

Thanks bloggers for the well wishes!!!

Yesterday it finally dawned on me that my trad is close and it was MY TRAD. It was like a meteor from the the 3rd solar system passed all the planets and came blazing into earth and hit me. I shook it off and then I heard the ignition to my brain start and I was like meeeeee!!! Omo check frozen expression of shock on my face and then i snatched my fone and ran to the ladies. I was pacing left and right and I was only short of walking on the ceiling thinking of who to call to get a confirmation and some words of strength. I finally called my chief - to - be and her 1st line was off and then the 2nd rang out, so I was on my own. Impossible!! I ran to look for who was online to chat & help but it was just Man utd and I didnt want to freak him out with my sudden awakening from amnesia so i sat infront of my system with my eyes open wide so i dont blink.

My elder Sis called and I grabbed d phone n ran to d ladies where i started crying. She was so worried and tried to comfort me. I finally realised dat I was scared!!! Not of d man, not of d family, not anytin physical but just wondering if i will b a good wife.....if I would b d PERFECT wife. My sister told me I won't. And i was like "eh..!!???" She said I would be a robot and dats not who I need to be. She told me it was ok to be scared cos most pple r, its just d jitters. She said u need to be friends, honest, quarrel, make up and love each oda, so if i and man utd did den we were on track. With dat I started to see things. He is not in need of a perfectionist, he loves me as I am, as I've always been (weird). His family are wonderful and HE is just d right wonderful person dat completes me (even wen we quarrel, lol!!).

Now d jitters are over and I realise I aint d first to av 'em or d last. Although i'm scattered on d planning, the most important thing is I'm gonna become Mrs ..........MAN UTD and i may be imperfect but i'm... i mean we r gonna do tins right TOGETHER as a team, shebi- LOL!!!!

NB - Details of d gbedu will be given soon.

Talking

2008-02-18T05:19:00.003Z

"I want you"......
You ask me 'wen?' and I say "ALL D TIME!!".
Did I scare you, it wasn't my intention but u see
sometimes I tink I'll go bunkers if I don't.
"Was dat a sigh?" You say 'No!'
So its okay if I keep talking, its not like I can't "shut up"
but I find it necessary to talk about things, "oh, for u its different?"
Now I'm wondering "How do u get results, if u don't TALK?"
With a smile I just say "I understand wat u mean".
We are quiet now as d T.V gets d most words and I envy dem for havin a pre-written script
while I have to scratch and write my lines to our movie and see each scene goes smooth.

Sometimes it looks magnifique in my head but wen d words come out......
oh...those words come out and I look like i went out of script.
Hmm.... how do I get wat I want and say wat I want without looking to u like
an inconsiderate, annoying, unromantic, selfish B*^%h
now dat is d real JAMB question!! I'm pondering like "The Brain" but some how I'm still "Pinky".
Dis is maddness!!!!! I can't do dis!!!!! Its like thru u I see a horrible me!!!!!!
"Isn't dere a way we can both meet at the centre of sanity?"
Lets both surf d net for ideas to draft a new contract, a new guideline to life
"NO!!! I am not insane!! and of course not I'm NOT joking"
I tink "I need to sit down" so I walk to d couch and sit on d floor next to it.
This angle beta suits my mood cos I'm wondering if my perspective is "QUESTIONABLE".

Temporary relief i'll get with some sleep
and believe me I tink we could both do with some.
"Question?" and u reply 'Shoot'
I try to read from d script I have again but, I pause and decide to free flow from my heart
"I bet u want a pretty miss sunshine with most tins on the dot, but I gotta admit she isn't in here. My tins are either spontaneous,planned, outspoken,out of character, now or later but dese are my dot, like I bet u got ur dot and its different from d dot I want u to have." Now i'm sure ur blinking fast is cos u wanna get my point, well i'm saying "We got to tolerate n accomodate each odas quirks". U r looking at me and I know d chant in ur head is 'she is a lunatic and if I can only change d channel i'll watch d football match' but den u give me D Reply - 'Ok!'. I may not know wat team will win but I know who won't watch d match.
So dat brings my back to d very start - "I want u......NOW!!!"

50 tins to remember

2008-01-28T13:23:00.000Z

Some of these are really worth remembering every day! If I had dese guides some years back, I tink I would have done quite a nos of tins differently. Example nos 3, 6, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21(i still av a prob with dis), 25(it is sooooooo true), 29, 30, 31, 33, 35, 36, 41, 42 (at home i am called junk collector. I av applied dis to life too,bt i am changing), 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49 & 50.

Pls wat nos. apply to you and are u gonna make a change after reading this? Enjoy !!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is a special occasion.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. Get outside every day .
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you are loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
"A REAL FRIEND IS ONE WHO WALKS IN WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD WALKS OUT"

LETS ENTER 2008 WITH JOY!!!!!!!

2007-12-31T06:38:00.000Z

Hi people i am so sooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry dat I av been AWOL but work n a couple oda tins been holding d remote control of my life. I will update very soon. Thank you every1 who dropped a comment or asked about me and wished me a merry xmas - Onome, sherri,T. Stephens, Pamelastich, Lindwee, SoloD, Nyemoni,Ubong, Kreativemix, Obinwanne, Ms. emotions, Oracle, unnaked soul, princessa, Ibo dude,Ugo D and Hopeful B.
Bloggers wats ur new year resolution? Share with me, if u wanna.
Wish u all a fantasticly, intresting and successful 2008. Luv u all!!!

ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT, American writer

Sometimes I need what only you can provide, Your absence.

ANONYMOUS

· Anytime I feel like exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
· Eating plenty of onions and garlic might help you live longer- but you’ll probably die very lonely.
· Inside me lies a skinny woman crying to get out but I can usually shut her up with cookies.
· I am not the man I used to be, so why should I have to pay all his debts.

FIVE REASONS ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED @ WORK;

· it is an incentive to show up.
· It reduces stress.
· It leads to more honest communication; employees tell management what they really think and not what management wants to hear.
· It increases satisfaction because if you have a bad job – you don’t care.
· It eliminates holidays, because people would rather come to work.

ROUTINE- YUK!!!!!!

2007-11-21T06:18:00.000Z

Recently, I found out that I am stuck in the space continium of daily routine. Monday - Friday wake up 5.00am, go to work, eat, come back home, eat and sleep. Saturday hang with my man utd, neighbour and then sunday sometimes go to church then get ready for d coming week and start d boring drill all ova d hell again. AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have had it with my predictable days, what happened to d days wen i used to go watch movies, club, hangout, visit friends, go to shows, even rent movies, make beads, write poetry etc etc (I didnt av so much $$$$$). Or those days my friend and I will dream of having our cars and we would go to the beach, spend a weekend at the hotel, travel for fun, go watch more movies, infact just have fun days and when we actually felt like staying home we would laff and remember the days gone by. I mean me sitting at home 4 friday nights in a month? Someone just hang me!!! Instead d car came, we stopped going out to movies or even clubs etc. I mean we had little money before but we would up and move into town and make sth of ourselves (feel good to a tedious week) rather dan wat we do now- sit at home and wish for tins n den beat ourselves up about where we went wrong n tins we dont have.
It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has zero % to do with age. Infact allowing age hold d remote control has tarred the road for one boring journey to life. I'm gonna do sth and I am going to take any1 who wants to hop on d wagon to change, whatever the type of change will be {even if it has to be sewing classes LOL}.
People take a look at your lives and see if u r stuck in d 5th dimension of "s%^**y routine". It has nothing to do with d money in ur pocket; sometimes all u need is d right motiviation A.k.a YOURSELF!!, a friend or two or more, positive thot and a few oda tins (positive tins) and you are breaking d yoke of a drabby life and ready to giddy yahh into happier days.

NOTE ; Why stay and worry about anything when you have God the father to cast all ur fears n worries on, all he wants you to do is have faith and then talk to him. You can just say "Father, Pls I need U. Can U hold me and kiss my pain away. (Say wat ur problem is) . I know U will make EVERYTHING WONDERFUL!! Thank U Lord!! In Jesus name I pray-Amen."

BLOGGERS ADVISORY: DO NOT DRNK AND DRIVE before una say na me tell u to have fun memorable days. If u check am, wen u drink too much n den u jam yasef enta palaver [aka accident,unsafe sex,ova speeding etc], u no go fit make new happy days. So make u carry sense enjoy ya sef, shogbo bloggers!!

Crushes!!!

2007-10-31T05:44:00.000Z

Now growing up I recall the no. of crushes I had (white, black, celebrity, boy in airforce school, brother's friend, sister's friend etc). As kids and sometimes adults we were always nursing that thot, hope, butterfly and daydream that ur prince charming or for guys the lady who floats and hasn't got her feet on the ground will at least smile our way.

I was a hopeless day dreamer as a kid I had a crush on..... Tyson Beckford, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Captain Von Trap (D guy in sound of music), Luther Vandross, Patrick Swayze, Eddie murphy, David hasselhoff, Billy Ocean, Ronny, Bobby, Mickky and mike (Yes! the band new edition), Johnny Depp and so the list goes on. And though I always knew there was no chance on planet Jupiter and the 3rd dimension that I would ever meet them, I burned a candel with a tinsy winsy bit of hope.

Then came the normal brodas that I was sure I could see and stood a higher chance of being involved with but I was way too young. Then as years passed there was 1 of my bro's friend that I had a crush on since Jesus was in secondary school, his name was Eddy. Oh!!! someone give me an AMEN!! in all languages cos d bro was ouch!!!!! He was about 5ft 11", Fair, nicely built and had grey eyes. I would av runaway with him If he asked me to but he neva did but I would catwalk, wriggle my skinny jones body and be so polite and helpful when he came visiting. Eddy always held my hand and called me "Lil' Sis!" cos he was my eldest bro's mate (who happens to be 10yrs older than I am). Now one day in 2002 wen I was serving I ran into Eddy and he is looking at me with bigger eye cos e don reach like 9yrs since him see me, omo guy no believe say skinny jones don turn to big girl ( i no too get curves but at least I don get extension for front n back + I don de talk mature n not like mumu I de behave like yrs ago). He was complimenting me like e just get anoiting for d job and I was sure d man de trip for me, well he started sending me recharge card, visiting my bro's house, calling, wanting to be my personal chaperon and then one day the words came "Gal u av grown so much and watching u dese few weeks has made me realise that u r a Lady and d kind I want to settle with. Wat do u tink about u and I as a couple?"

Words since 19 gogoro I don do fasting and prayers for as a kid and now see me , see him and ... and.... there were no fire works, singing choir or heavenly crowd applauding. I looked at him and he still looked OUCH!!!! but I was not able to give d reply I had practised yrs back. I asked him his age and he told me 33 going 34 (in my head d calculation no gree me hide d shock on my face cos he was 11yrs older, that difference I know fit do). I told him it was a sweet thot but like I had told him I was in a relationship and I was happy (no lie I was), Eddy's grey eyes close and den I saw crazy Eddy. The guy begin to hit hand for bed, then he got up punched wall and scattered his table and turned to me and said "but u've known me for yrs, ur boyfriend is yoruba and ur bro and I av bn friends, I am a better person". I had to do a quick turn around and said I didnt see it from dat view and he had thrown a new light to d situation and I agree with him, it was then Eddy calmed down. I den told him I needed to go home and tink of how to end it with my boyfriend so we can start our courtship, he agreed and as he offered to drop me I said I needed to go on my own cos he looked tired.

Well I neva spoke to him again, I did a major blanking of my one time crush but I was polite wen I saw him in my bros house. That was 1 crush dat went terribly wrong and till this day I wondered if he tot I was blonde and would be bullied into his arms, well dat 1 concern am. I still av crushes but now I prefer to keep it in my head but the celebrity crushes keep increasing in no. cos I know say I no go see dem lai lai to lai lai!!

Now who were ur crushes wen growing up? Did u eva get to meet celebrity or normal crushes?

Homecalling.

2007-10-22T08:32:00.000+01:00

I moved to St Louis College from Command Secondary School and I was in J.S.S. 3a. I made friends with my classmates and a few with the other arms, but my best friend was in J.s.s 3b her name was Busola.O. We were like sisters and our friendship went on for 15yrs until saturday the 20th of october 2007. I can't believe she would av just gone like dat but its true. I was so sure it was untrue dat i called her bro n he was crying but to convince myself, I called her fone and den her landline and den her husbands mobile and dats wen it was sinking in. I got all my pics and poured it out, den selected her wedding pix to be sure who de r talking about. We were going to start a biz togeda n she called me last week tuesday for somethings and promised calling over d weekend to find out about my research and den know wat to send, but instead of busola's call I hear my girl is dead. How? Why? When? We were like two peas in a pod, I mean we call ourselves sisters cos she is d only girl. I spent my vacation in the uk with lily and den I moved later to her house and finally met my godson(who is now 1yrs old). We both did Bsc Geography and my bday was 29th aug n hers was 1st Sept and this year we were going to celebrate our 3 birthdays togeda but my boss didnt let me go and now my girl is gone? She was going to be two yrs in november being married and expecting her 2nd child by febuary and I hear she is gone. Wat of our promises, we promised to be each odas chief bridesmaid. I was hers and now she wont be mine? She was not to go anywhere till I am ready to get married, but it seems she is stone cold in a morgue? She has cheated me, cheated her son (my godson), her husband, her unborn child, her 2 brodas, her parents and all who care for her. At 29 wat d hell is ur hurry? We had issues to deal with and not for u to run off!!! I know i am so angry dat u r gone, I know I should be happy dat u r with our God and at peace but den wen do we all stop crying? I've been so scared to stay alone, I cant stop seeing u in my head? I've been crying since saturday and d tears wont stop. I went to church today and I axd God to remove my anger and be happy for u but .......... I can't believe u r gone dear, wat r we all gonna do now?Ur call is important on my bday and now u wont call me and I guess I cant call u? She is so beautiful, a real black beauty, caring, funny, crazy and....... now gone!!!

I'm not angry, I cant be, I am just sad dat u didnt fight to stay. Azuyi and now u??!!! I'm really sad u didnt stay. I'll check up on Tireni and Ade often-I promise. U too better check on dem too. You know the last words I said on our last call - I Love u and dat will neva change. I miss u and forgive me if I get angry sometimes, but its just cos....

Rest in Peace sister and say nice to God about us while u up there ok!!!

AGE

2007-10-16T07:24:00.000+01:00

Age has grayed my hair
With a wisdom from my youth
And the feeble legs that lift me
is no match for my concrete heart.
Better judgment is like a fable
as experience is a lesson never learnt.
Religion is the great rehabilitation
that our souls rarely visit but,
what has age really done for me?
Multiplied my curiosity
Added to my conquest
Divided my attention
Whilst subtracting my intelligence.
And yet if I passed through life again,
I would surely do everything the way it is today.

ABC's

2007-10-09T12:36:00.000+01:00

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: well...em....i got my place and a moto and... etc etc (i wonder wat etc is?) BIRTHDAY: August 29
CONFUSED ABOUT: men.
DRINK YOU LAST HAD: red wine
EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Myself
FAVORITE MUSIC/GROUP/BAND:Last night/
GOOD OR NAUGHTY: hmm... I'm naughtily good (I say dats a sentence)
HOMETOWN: Orlu, Imo State
INSTRUMENT: I love the guitar (but can't play)
JOB POSITION: Customer Support Officer
KILLED SOMEONE: HELL NO!!!
LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Jos to Imo state (Naija)
MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: strawberry (but water is better)
NUMBER OF PETS: none
ONE WISH: that i could own my own successful business and be a social butterfly
PERSON WHO YOU LAST TALKED TO: the companies's sick accountant
QUIET OR LOUD: Most people would probably say Loud but i'm really quiet.
REASONS TO SMILE: God, my family, manutd, friends SINGLE: Nope
TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5.09am
UNDERWEAR: I wear them
VIOLENT: physical - no, but my thots are very explosive.
WORST HABIT: I am d queen of scattered-dom
X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: my tooth
YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: dogs but puppies to be precise
ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo

ITS MINE!!!

2007-09-27T14:40:00.000+01:00

Yes there she is...my beauty!!!! I tink she is ...(sob, sob) the proudest lil' girl any1 can buy from squeezing an account. (Wen i am a social butterfly and a biggggg girl i'll buy my one true love Landrover jeep(star struk!!!))

I've been cruising the 3rd mainland bridge since monday morning and today, I felt no jitter - wat i mean is usually wen i get to the office i av a little fear thingy were I hold my breath from home to d office and then wen i finally start breathing, I've lost my voice. Yep, I de fear small small but e no reach to piss for body. Today I felt good about driving my baby and this evening as I cruise the highway homebound, the song in my head will be "They see me rolling, they hating ....bla blaa try to catch me riding dirty repeat 2ce....etc. "

Now I got a moto d next tin on the list is knowing the roads of lasgigi and paint the town plum ..uhh.... sassy!!!!

Thanks manutd (U know what for)

He Didn't forget.

2007-09-12T07:10:00.000+01:00

I wake each day to his rotten breath
of excessive liquor and cigarette smoke
as i pick myself up to composure
and anger mingled with disgust chokes me
as I recall a time when things weren't so.
By day he's got a job quite alright
and a hobby for the night,
if its not the booze or the smoke
then it's my silent cries for the moment
to have never happened at all.

This revolting pile of shit
was once a prince and then my king
but somehow I lost his highness
to the stupidity and disgust of irresponsibility.
It's a question - Why do I stay
and outside the window lies my freedom
but it's hard to explain to you all
that after it all,
he hasn't forgotten to tell me every night
that he LOVES me very, very much.

{Fiction}

28

2007-08-31T07:56:00.000+01:00

My birthday was on the 29th of August and I turned a good 28!!! yEP I AM OFFICIALLY THREADING THE THIRT' ROAD. Its nice getting older and I thank God I have achieved somethings in my life but as usual a couple of things still need to be crossed out of my list.

A couple of things didn't go well for my birthday *My Man U wasn't in town. *My boss didn't approve my leave and I couldn't travel. *I missed my godson's 1yr old birthday. *My account was cruising a top rate of N1,000.00= (Yep, I kid u not cos i calculated not being around so i would av been safe). *My colleagues were barking snacks n all but then i realised that everything happens for a reason (sadly I didn't see reason until 11am).
The number of calls I got were unbeliveable and so were the txt and chats from the conglomerate of reach-out networks (aka Hi5,Netlog,Facebook,msngr,skype etc). I didnt think I had a lot of friends but I was proved wrong that day. I cherish well wishes than present cos it kinda makes me feel ssoooooooooo loved. I did get a couple of gifts- moneywise; which was like a complete blessing to me. I sailed through the day smiling and floating on the love of ALL my well wishers.

I also had my make-up expert neighbour (If u need her services buzz me n i hook u up) do me up and i took pictures the day before my birthday to mark the end of being 27, it was a blast clicking away (Loved it)+ d dearie baked me a cake too. It has been a point of duty for 3yrs running to get myself a present and this year was to be the trip to uk but I decided to fast track my car project and I should be a member of the traffic clique by early next week. Pictures of my lovely bat-outta-hell moto will be posted soon.

Ok..... work calls but To all the fantastic people who wished me well, GOD BLESS YA ALL!!!! I am still dancing.

Sweet Petals For You.

2007-08-07T13:33:00.000+01:00

Out the back door
into the garden
I have laid a carpet
of pretty yellow petals
on your path to walk upon.

In the elysian garden
I call our special place
your throne is covered
with lilac coloured roses.

As its sweet perfume intoxicates you
and your eyes are closed in comfort
I will kiss your lips softly and slowly
so my full nectar will fill you.

Let me guide you to my cottage
weaved from lilies of the valley
which were specially picked
for an occassion such as this.

Secluded from the world
we are in a wonder of our own
where the darkness covers us
as the light within us shines.

In the room filled with candles
scented with sweet hopes of spring
there's a bed I have laid
with sweet petals for you.

Becos I love you and you love me
our bodies will come close as it was streamed to meet,
as time stands still
and the door shuts everyone else out
only you and I will know
what went on
as I gave sweet petals for you.

Borrowed questions but my answers!!

2007-07-30T11:29:00.000+01:00

I am …slim
My ex-boyfriend was …an IT consultant
Maybe I should …walk naked (I tink its a nice liberating idea-shave 1st though)
I love …moneeeeyyyyyyyy (All d tins i' ll do and places dat i'll go to . ahh!!)
I don't understand..... mathematics
I lost my....
My current boyfriend is …a 4-eyed sweetheart
People say I'm ….sturbborn
Love is …d biggest mystery of all time (and we can die to have it)
Somewhere, someone is…giving birth (ohhh... d pain)
I will always... want...want.....something
Forever is.... closer than I think
I never want to… be ALONE!!! (no one eva eva wants dat cos.. it hurts)
I think the current President is…. yet to show his real colours
When I wake up in the morning…. I say Thank u Jesus!! ( I gotta cos some ple didnt wake up)
Life is full of… surprises (sometimes i wonder if i'll eva be truly prepared for it)
My past is incredibly…. em... good memory for my old age
I get annoyed when…. a simple issue is made complicated (and blown out of proportion)
Parties are for...relaxing
Girls are ...the 8th wonder of the world
Sex is…. hmmm....... one of the key elements to life (rmbr dis is my thot)
I wish... I didnt make myself worry so much
Tomorrow I'm going to….. try to take ova d world!!!(actually, i got to be at work again)
I really want some…moneyyyy (i can really do some good with it,besides splurging on trips n etc)
I have no tolerance for people who…. are greedy,stingy,mean,self centred, sneaky,manipulative,unjust,unfaithful...(em.... i tink dat will do, for now)
If I had a million dollars... I would give 10k to different orphanages,50k to my family,5k to party with my friends,500k in fixed accounts, and some oda cool stuff but surely travel by air and sea look i am dizzy with d thot.oh!! i will quit my job and start my own biz.
My job makes me…. alert (and a bit irritated, but i like it)

I saw this on Tyger's blog and politely borrowed it. The answers are mineeeee!!!

GOOD TRAINING

2007-07-25T07:29:00.000+01:00

"U r always on d fone" I scream,
wen it chokes me after 1hr of watchin u
and to tink i just blew my top at u in public.
Wat i really meant to say was far more suttle
but now dat doesn't matter
'cos i'll be getting a fist of good training at home.

U don't love me anymore and I can tell
but den again so can our maids in d house
as they listen to my best play of shakesphere's
new drama 'Thy love is my pain.'
D fustration wasn't from d 2yrs of no kids
cos now d twins r part of d refrees who shout foul play.

These nice versace shades
r among d best things u've gotten me
so wen i'm out by day its nite to my swollen eyes.
I look at myself naked wen u r off to work
to see d craftmanship of ur good training
and a love my mother says must be "Till death do us part".

Yes She Is.

2007-07-18T08:09:00.000+01:00

Light showers of rain
outline the beauty that maketh a woman
as she dances to the beats of her lyrical voice.

One day the joy of puberty
will be repead in a dream of 9 moons
as screams of bitter sweet pain will bring a tear.

Her back will be the bearer of stories
as the threads on her forehead
are interlaced with memories that a generation will hear.

Is she not beautiful?
As a cloud upon her head
draws a picture to the end of the festival called life.

Yes she was in the august rain.
Yes she was in the sweat of childbirth and
Yes she is withered and gray in her mahogany casket today.

FANTABULOUS EVENING!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-16T08:01:00.000+01:00

Yep!!! It was yesterday evening at the Thisday Music Concert. Yep!!! I repeat again, A REALLY FANTABULOUS SHOW!!!!I will try to ignore the fact that they took FOREVER!!!! To always bring out the next artist but whenever I heard them on stage, I was screaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of course now I have a D. J scratch fanatic sexy voice and sexy sleepy eyes. Now the show was to be a cast of both the American ati 9ja Artists but due to some circumstance that I did not investigate; the two day show became a one day show + many of my 9ja people no come perform. Sorry for them but awesome for me… Yippy!!
Shakira, John Legend, Rhianna {a.k.a Reehina – duly taggered by the MD of a certain gemlike called bank (my opinion - Soooooooo embarrassing) },9ja’s own Tongolo master “He is D-Banj”, Kelly Rowland (I know we all hope she is doing aiight after wat happened), Sasha (the only female rapper that was on the Trybes men!!), den my love P. DIDDY! And the closing act was Ne-Yo.
The artists that didn’t make the spotlight = Mode 9, P-square, Asa, Tuface, Timi (idols W.A winner) and I think UB40 – well I not know if they mysteriously performed and I missed it but em….. I not see the red, red, wine reggae pop band. Did I mention P.Diddy performed? Oh yea! If you look at the 11th line, and the 14th word of that sentence, (if you count exclamations, bracket and coma). I am only sad about one thing, Diddy didn’t sing “Last Night”, oh!! How I just looovvveeee that track.
Sha!! I got to hand it to THISDAY Newspaper for putting together the show and the artists that come to perform (even though I recognise its part of my N$£ that brought dem in- I am IBO and must account for the disappearance of my hard earned naira & kobo), its really lovely to be part of the crazy experience & like my love will say “I’ll do it again!!!”
Lest I forget I also need to big up my 9ja people who dress to the teeth to look like MTV ballers, supra models (not a mistake in spelling nor is it a beefing implication) and kids who stayed awake way past dia bedtimes + the workers who stayed up (my category) and yelled like they had no work to go to, nor d drab/sleepy look on a Monday morning : Much respect to you all!!!! And I apologise to all those I called and made dem go through that excruciating noise, its a bad habit dat I have to draw people into my euphoria. Oh!! That girl, who Diddy called up on stage (among others), and she hugged him like a kazillion times-from my perspective… I just want you to know I’ve got my eyes on you, so you better watch ur back.
I am so glad my friend and cousins went along with me (Hemba dear, I know you wanted to be dere) and for those people who didn’t think I should have gone and tried to talk me out of it – yea u know urselves… I gotta say WAKE UP and LIVE!! Don’t be stingy to urselves cos
WE ONLY GOT ONE LIFE TO LIVE, enjoy it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got work to drag myself through, l8r!

Where is the wrong?

2007-07-09T16:58:00.000+01:00

It’s been a while since I blogged and I used the vacant time to think. Its kinda weird sometimes that you go thru life and most of ur decisions and actions, u confidently categorise it as “right”. I’ll break it down – I’ve realised that I am strict with people I care about and with others I am more sympathetic and soft in actions or words. I don’t get the idea to this but I’m gradually realising that this is and has been a dark cloud over me and God knows there is a fee I am paying.
In relationships (yep this is the direction that I was heading for from the start) you av to be sensitive and caring + patient and cool tempered; according to the story books but I am a bit far from that, I’ld estimate 3 miles far. If you ask me of my past relationships n how I behaved in them, this would be my response {I was/am so so loving, giving, sensitive, only a bit temperamental, a little impatient, a good listener, supportive but mostly misunderstood-why I just don’t know). Now this last weekend with a little influence, I got on a self evaluation wagon and rode myself on a TRUE journey to my past, this time I looked at it from the Y chromosome perspective. All the times I thot I was d bomb of a girlfriend, I was really a bum of a girlfriend cos most of my actions, no I’ll take dat again – 90% of my actions were without complete consideration for the Y (pls note that Y refers to my past unfairly treated men).
My intention was to listen to them – My action was I listened to my own voice faithfully.
I wanted to be caring & passionate -My caring/sesitivity was d size of 2 mustard seeds but my passion was sooo fully covered.
Was I sturbborn? - Undoubtdly and highly annoying, enuf to be murdered.
Did I give? - I gave sometins in d line of anger, a little moody silence, a few occasion of gifts (I wasn’t dat bad) and a lil’ humour.
My point is wen do we admit to carry some of the blame in relationships and even friendships? When do we say I was wrong!! We must realise that our thot and wish for relationships are not the same as the other party and so wen two people come together they av to form a conglomerate of ideas. We must learn to be understanding of other people’s dream of being a couple, dia shortcomings and even dia mistakes unless we will continue to look for perfection in a person dat is IMPERFECT.
People we love will always be wrong if we don’t believe that de r human n also fallible as so we r too. I didn't make some sacrifices cos I wanted to feel wanted/special and think back in yrs to come "he loved me so much dat he ALWAYS came to me, no matter where". I should av thot he wanted the same too, so meeting him halfway could av made us both special. Not avin d guts to admit we r wrong during or after is a problem that could always be d loose hinge in ur relations with people. I wish I could av done sometins right by some people and I feel bad to av been so self centred and inconsiderate, thank God I’ve got a chance to stop knitting the pattern of my past in the design of my future by being more mindful and reading dem cosmo, ivillage for guidance (cos I no go lie u dem got some romantic tins wei person{e.g both sexes} go fit add to man-woman experience). This is quite some hard work, but if u really like someone (+ love d person) then I think its sometin to really work on or one day the hard work will be on trying to stop urself from being desperate and lonely.

2007-06-11T17:05:00.000+01:00

I sat by the bar
drinking my 3rd glass of red wine
and then you walked into the joint.
My eyes locked on you and followed your walk to me
I was 80% over my intoxication margin
So my eyes followed you like a moving target.
The prey that would make my hot blood turn cold
When doors close and we make animals of the night
As my adrenalin rushed a sweat btwn my heated thighs.
You placed yourself on the bar stool and sized me up,
and ur greeting I replied with a muffled growl
cos my body ached for the unceremonial event the night held.
You took your time and ordered 3 shots of brandy
Then you put your perspiring left hand on my thigh as your right hand traced my face.
I was shaking, cursing and near desperation to ignore decency
And as a test you leaned in for a kiss to see and feel my face flushed with blood vessels.
I needed some contact and you played me sensually like a guitarist serenading a crowded room of ladies
wanting to be the strings and feel the macho of ur fingers
but you pulled away and stared at my tilted hanging face with closed eyes and parted lips
Ready to be drawn into a novel romance of passion.
I finally got myself out of my suspended stupidity when I heard 'we have to talk babe!'
Emm... he's neva said this before, but then again i've neva been tipsy so there is always a first-
I dreamy eyed a sentence and realized 'so sexy' is not the same as my thot to say 'so speak'
but heck who cares, not him cos he emptied his glass with one gulp
and then my state of high backed into a 25% zone cos this looks serious.
Sitting up straight and supporting my heavy head to look conscious and serious
I zeroed out the sound of pple around and the raunchy voice in my head to listen to him
and the words went on and on and on but his lips moving made me tingle and giggly in my head
but later I seemed to find the path to be sobered,
gradually I feel a quench to my fire and a squeeze on my heart.

My brain seems to be sending some codes, its like a translation
and I understand his body language, no eye contact and the flat tone in his voice
Oh men!!! This can not be happening to me, I'm surely on a 150 margin-certified DRUNK.
My heart is racing..... I'm shaking and there's a tide building in my eyes,
“JESUS!!!” I say, trying not to blink so my swelling eyes don't crack the dam
“Are you okay” he asks, “ yea, I usually shout Jesus when I’m excited that someone is trying to give me the boot and not having the courage to say it straight” I replied. He covers his face & smiles
now am fuming cos the jackass thinks I’m some form of joke.
“Hey! ... Hey!! Bartender, get me some Vodka. !!” that’s me leaning over the bar and yelling,
“Look Quasimodo, I'll love to sit and hear the drum roll, then the final words and the reverse speech of -it's not you, it’s me shit; but I gotta use the ladies pronto! Please try not to be here when I come back with my ruptured heart and sore eyes to drink myself to therapy, but if you do have more knives and the guts to stick it in my heart than my back, then baby by all means stick around.” With those words blazing off my lips I made a proud warriors match to the ladies.
(Believe me-I only stumbled 2ce and bumped into 5 people on my match)
Standing in front of the mirror I let my memory play the 3yr relationship
I struggled not to see the negative in the past years or the last 1hr 30mins,
Reapplying my eye shadow and lip-gloss before I re-enter the real world....it.....it trickled.
Seeing a tear roll-down my cheek and then touch my shoulder
made me look at my reflection again and I saw into my heart, it was shriveled n weak;
At that moment I felt I DIED.

2007-06-11T15:37:00.000+01:00

I saw this and i loved it.

A lil' humor

2007-06-11T10:06:00.000+01:00

ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT, American writer

Sometimes I need what only you can provide, Your absence.

ANONYMOUS

· Anytime I feel like exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
· Eating plenty of onions and garlic might help you live longer- but you’ll probably die very lonely.
· Inside me lies a skinny woman crying to get out but I can usually shut her up with cookies.
· I am not the man I used to be, so why should I have to pay all his debts.

FIVE REASONS ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED @ WORK;

· It is an incentive to show up.
· It reduces stress.
· It leads to more honest communication; employees tell mgt what they really think and not what management wants to hear.
· It increases satisfaction because if you have a bad job – you don’t care.
· It eliminates holidays, because people would rather come to work.

I'm a bit bored in the office.

REST IN PEACE

2007-06-01T11:37:00.000+01:00

Some real sad news came to me last night. A girl who I attended secondary school with has been kissed by death. Today, the news about her death is worse than the mild news I got last night, it seems she died from wat many call a figment of the imagination, a disease that does not exist or made by man - yep, its AIDS!!!!!!!!!!

She got married at a young age and is the only child of her mom + she her self is a mom. We both finished school in in '96 and soon after got hitched to some big guy from the northern part of 9ja. We werent like two peas in a pod but we did know each oda some bit and she was a jolly girl. Saddly her marriage was no smooth ride cos we heard tales of her hubby's infidelity. It was so outta hand that he did it in their home and on their bed(How completely disrespectful,cruel and shameless could he av been). An old school mate told me d burial is tomorrow but wen i asked wat she died of and I got smacked with AIDS the cause of death, believe me wen i say I closed my eyes and imagined her pain. Her hubby died of AIDS a while back so its a sure deal wat fate befell her and it breaks my heart to think of the sad journey to her end. 1st being so cheated and heart broken. 2nd seeing her hubby die from aids. 3rd finding out she had it. 4th Watching herself go through the stages of d diseases. 5th Knowing her Kid will have no parents. Maybe even a couple more issues She only knew.

Why do we hurt ourselves. If he knew he wanted to cheat or had AIDS then why the %^@* did he pass it to her? No one says you really got to be married, i mean people will talk weda u marry or not. Who is going to console her mom/friends and importantly her kid? Why are people so calculatedly wicked? Heck, we r all going to the Maker someday but did she have to loose her life in a long and painfully excruciating disease? Was her evil getting married/trying to make her marriage work or sleeping with the man she vowed to love in the prescence of God? Does love in sickneess and health,for richer or poorer & till death do them part really av to be followed literally? Questions will continue to make my mind work overtime as my racing pulse fuels an anger for people (men & women) who are victims of lawless LOVE, but will it bring Sarah back? Unfortunately, it won't and all I can do is say a prayer and wish her safe passage to the other side.

For love gone wrong, for relationships with a violent,sad and unfair end and most especially you girl, even though death kissed u to sleep, I pray these angels wake u to the peace and joy of Eternal Life.(RIP)

Goodbye!!

Stay With Me

2007-05-23T15:34:00.000+01:00

I'm quick to words
and my actions seem tough
don't think that i'm a super hero
becos I need you to stay with me

I could fly to rome,
catch a train to paris
and stretch out on a cruise to the carribean
but everywhere would be empty
'cos I need you to stay with me

When it's that time of the month
and my hormones make me hot & cold
as the days roll by and
I'm a different woman from who you
fell in love with, don't walk away
Please stay with me

In my dreams you're my white knight
and I'm a damsel who loves you so
but as my eyes kiss the morning sun
and you look just like a regular 'Man U' fan
I smile at the tricks reality & dreams
sometimes play,
but my heart is
always glad to know
that u & I are staying together.

Thank you 'Man U'!!!!!!

Hidden Demons

2007-05-17T13:35:00.000+01:00

I tink of myself as a very down to earth person,calm, with a good sense of humour and a great love for the outdoors. I tink I can pass for a cool person but recently I saw some other me that I thot I had control over. I've always known my anger can get out of control especially wen I have been surpressing some issues and then wen I cant file anymore shit I simply and literally explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I file away things that people don't want to address, there comes a faithful day that I explode. I have tried to school myself to deal with it better but on some occassions- WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like I say 'Flame On'( like the fire guy in fantastic 4) and I feel the fear in the next person. People whohaven't seen me really upset ask me if I ever get angry and when I tell them that's something they should pray not to see, they tink its a joke. Its sad that I've tried and really tried to keep it out of my life but, it springs up and I cant hold myself. It feels like my heart is about to pop out of me and runaway from fear of getting cooked.

My question is how do you hide your demon and keep it out of sight PERMANENTLY? I hate myself an hour after I burn, its a spirit of disappointment cos I let it take over me. I dont want to be avoided like a plague cos they wonder wen the volcanoe is going to blow!! If there are tips or good answers to killing my august visiting demon, pls tell me (and that is besides dying as a good solution) respond ASAP!!

Long Battle of the Genders

2007-05-11T07:30:00.000+01:00

I am so furious right now!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like putting all dominating and egotisticly, irritating, foolishily disgusting male pro ifidfhi. Who ever said because you have a d*^k means you are better than a woman, I mean please!!!!!!! I used to think it was people that were not educated that had such a complex but I know in my life i have seen even the most educated of men display a high level of stupidity because he feels that women should be submissive and regard themselves as a level just above hired helpers at home.

I love men and this is not a general anger to all men but a high percentage of men small, tall, fat, slim,educated and uneducated alike feel the God given right to them is to be OBEYED and UNDEFILED. My anger is with some complete mongrels this morning in the bus on my way to work (please i'm bubbling like lava and my anger is erupting through my uncontrolable abusive language). the driver was waiting for a lady who was trying to make her way to the junction and meet the bus, but then some guy was shouting 'why she they waka like say she no get leg. Abeg leave am jare!!' And i simply said, 'she is pregnant, just wait' and then the mongrel said is she the first? Can't she run?' I shouted and told him to try getting pregnant and run and then omo!! check raking from the men, sth we for rack for bus.!! They were shouting 'don't talk to a man like that, he is a man'. I vexed and we were shouting and some men were on my side when they saw she was pregnant but the skunk kept shouting 'she no de look face'. Bottomline the lady got to us and begged us to stop and blamed herself for asking us to wait.

Its bad I lost my temper but why was he and 2 other men being so inconsiderate and uncaring? And that squrriel that was shouting 'he is a man' oh! i wished my thots could inflict harm. Even when a woman has power or in a position to assist a man you need to dock for cover unless you get a verbal or physical punch. It doesn't matter who is the weaker or stronger sex but pls let's call a spade a spade and not a lip gloss. A lady earning more than her partner is sometimes emotionally abused or called power drunk and domineering. She finds a job for her partner- now she thinks he owes her. A housewife calling to ask when her husband is coming home and then she is monitoring him. There are endless list of situations where fire and brimstone justify the reason why men emotionally and physically put down a woman. Struggle for independence and liberation from this societal ill has lead to a few women being bitter, angry, withdrawn or even violent just to get emancipation. Though to be fair there are a couple of the ladies who are an itch.
What makes a man be like this? Why is truth supposed to be silent when coming from a woman? Why has there been no explanation or solution to this battle? Did they have a secret men's seminar or workshop to educate them on insatiable quest for power? And most importantly - Who died and made them leader of the 2 genders?
Don't even try the biblical side to the story cos you will see a mad black woman in your face.

does love still exist?

2007-05-09T13:44:00.001+01:00

A close friend of mine asked that question this morning while we were chatting and I quickly replied 'Yes!!'. When a person asks that question in my opinion it almost means they are doubting its existence. I believe in it now 'cos i am in it. Truly in it!!! But as the hours passed I thot of the question and a time when I didn't believe in it or at least thot it happens but will pass me by. I figured I would be always be on a bench with 5 oda pple and every1 gets touched by it but i'm the lone ranger left sitting. My theory was 'Nothing lasts forever', so if couples can't grow past their anger, quarrels and other negative aspects, then my theory is proved right and so therefore love don't exist. Silly i presume, but i will take cover by saying I was young and as I got older I wanted to know that feeling but feared it cos of stories that had painful,heart wrenching and bitter endings.

Man U (real name not given to protect the innocent) is the rthymn my heart beats for, it wasn't an easy journey to get to where we are and believe me when i say rough roads to love but the point is I stayed and He stayed not becos we couldn't leave but I think it was that small voice. If you stay quiet you'll hear it and she (the voice) told me this time was different from the other times I did my impulsive break ups.
Love can be onesided and that is a deep knife in the heart that is - loving someone who can't love you back. If death was a healing vacation spot, you'ld opt for that than spend another moment swimming in a ocean with no sign of land. It's hard to understand you can want to offer someone your world and more and they either refuse (with persistence) not to accept your offer or they in an act of mercy accept but in the long run crush your heart with their bare hands.

I think its honorable to not toy with someones heart and I also recommend to drag ur goodwill intentions with you when a person refuses your pledge of love, IF NOT YOU HAVE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME. Love exists, it really does but you have to be able to read the signs so you dont suspend yourself in a space continium of wishful love. The law of love by ME is some people will find love quickly, a few others will search a bit harder to find their missing rib, a couple of people will fall into a shitty relationship but if they can get themselves out of it and are not too broken to be positive they will find someone and sadly there are people who may not find it because they do not compromise, nor accept friendship or tolerate a little less than their dreams. The bottom line is to stay positive, cos love is for everyone and I believe it. It requires patience, self honesty, being positive, prayers and more patience. Rmbr- just my thots!!

Music therapy

2007-05-08T12:52:00.000+01:00

I love music. There is a kind of comfort, truth, consolation and clarity that different songs give me. I think I am a pessimist so that’s why I hear sanity with slow and sad songs; they seem to give me answers, especially when it comes to love. I mean check Babyface – seven seas and What if. Destiny’s child – through with love (I had an almost similar relationship). U2- One. Cutting crew- I just died in ur arms. The Corrs- One night. Madonna-You must love me. Macy Gray – Still, sweet baby. Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue – Wild rose. Sheryl Crow-strong enough. AND SO MUCH MORE. There are the few gospel songs I can listen to Kirk Franklin-Something about the Name Jesus. Don Moen – More of you. Beyonce in Fighting Temptation – he still loves me (That makes me Cry).

It’s the words in songs and the right beat, rhythm that can make my heart race and then my brain picks the message and I get mushy washy and pathetically tearful. Sometimes some songs are misleading though; let’s get this straight but if you got a level head you can tell a good message from crap. I wonder is it possible that music is self therapy written by artists who sacrifice their lives for research. I’ll explain this- it’s either their relationships crumble cause they need material for their songs or is it possible that the wheels of happy ending never spins happiness for them. They help listeners and fans through different emotions and can’t find therapy in their own words of encouragement, risk, love and reality.

Honestly, why is love sooooo complicated? I wonder what I would do without my therapy and therapist, who is always there for me. I wonder how other people get through the hell of life ON THEIR OWN without waiting for an appointment with a shrink or loosing their temper.?